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Dear Abby: Looking for advice after 8 whiteboards in 12 years

Let me start by saying Glassboards are ultra-reliable, and pretty much the only responsible spend in the writing surfaces market these days. They’re cool. They’re fun. They look great and clean up well. They’re not afraid of commitment – they last a lifetime after all, and they’ll look just as good 30 years from now as the first time you laid eyes on them.

Whiteboards, on the other hand, are a complete mess. Right from the beginning. First of all, they usually show up late. You planned for their arrival – maybe you were naively excited – and you’re left staring at the clock, not for hours – but days.

When they do finally show up, it doesn’t get better – it gets worse. First of all, whiteboards don’t believe in first impressions. They just show on up, broken corners and all.

Next, they love to make their problems your problems. As if showing up days late in no kind of shape wasn’t bad enough, whiteboards have no remorse – they don’t even bring fixtures half the time!

And the smell! We all have days where we might forget deodorant but for goodness sakes – the wafting of synthetic – who knows how toxic fumes? Whiteboards should merge with tic tac.

They make no effort to stay in shape. They might start out solid but before long, they become misshapen, and weirdly unfit. But they never change their Facebook pic. No matter how distorted, they always pretend they’ve still got it.

Before long, they look like one of the pictures your dentist shows you – or at least Austin Powers. The staining, the yellowing – every pack of EXPO sold for a whiteboard should come with some Crest or Colgate. We don’t need pearly whites but can you at least make an effort?

Now you’d think being plastic and all that they wouldn’t be high maintenance. Ha. They make Kim Kardashian and Justin Bieber look like Abraham Lincoln. Every time you turn around a dollar here a replacement there. They eat markers for breakfast. I swear I go through a marker a week when whiteboards are in the picture.

But for all their faults, you gotta kinda feel sorry for them. Sometimes whiteboards are kind of… pitiful. And so you stand there, cloth and spray bottle in hand scrubbing the terrible away until you’re just exhausted.

Abby, I’ve been through 8 whiteboards in the last 12 years and wasted thousands of dollars and I just wanted to see what you think? Do other readers have the same problem?

-Worn Out in Whiteboardsville